48-Grandmother Dreams

the cries of babies tear

my heart out even if they

are just tired or angry

it feels like someone drilling

my teeth or the earth opening

up in a earthquake though i

have never seen that happen

but still it feels like that to me

this feeling i cannot make go away

inhibits my capacity to put grandchildren

to sleep i rock for hours rather than

hear a cry i think that as a grandmother

i should not be in charge of bed or naps

but only rocking and spoiling and playing

it’s another one of my unrealities that

won’t seem to disappear with the reality

of overnights and daily babysitting i’m

poorly made for what i end up doing

that could be said of most every activity

that occupies my days these days

i’ll cope and make the best of it,

but still i dream of simple rocking

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