Minuet

this thing in me that breaks open every few
minutes this minuet of despair… there is laughing
somewhere in here but it is derisive caring nothing
for my pain i say to the cynic, Can’t you see i’m
bleeding here i live in a world gone to hell
sirens and helicopter blades make the music
of this place i sleep for a few hours then wake
to plead with god, she seems to hear me but
it is not her but me who needs to be changed
by these prayer prattles rattling my cage
i want to be home, but i left it so long ago
i can’t remember how to get there
i am forever a stranger in my own mists
how much wealth or poverty does not determine
my class… did not graduate we lowered into
some infinite longing place…never made it
to heaven but today the asphalt of suburbia
scorches my brain making this burning
in me for some endless stretch of trees
to sing my soul back around this body
will jesus forever walk away on water
leaving no path to follow or will i take
flight in this night of endless sorrow
how the world has me keening
trembling like a sparrow caught in some
human hand that may kill or maim
my spirit the black horror of it has
stolen my memory of how to sing
i cling with my last feather to this
small piece of poetry fighting to set me free