Minuet

this thing in me that breaks open every few

minutes this minuet of despair… there is laughing

somewhere in here but it is derisive caring nothing

for my pain i say to the cynic, Can’t you see i’m

bleeding here i live in a world gone to hell

sirens and helicopter blades make the music

of this place i sleep for a few hours then wake

to plead with god, she seems to hear me but

it is not her but me who needs to be changed

by these prayer prattles rattling my cage

i want to be home, but i left it so long ago

i can’t remember how to get there

i am forever a stranger in my own mists

how much wealth or poverty does not determine

my class… did not graduate we lowered into

some infinite longing place…never made it

to heaven but today the asphalt of suburbia

scorches my brain making this burning

in me for some endless stretch of trees

to sing my soul back around this body

will jesus forever walk away on water

leaving no path to follow or will i take

flight in this night of endless sorrow

how the world has me keening

trembling like a sparrow caught in some

human hand that may kill or maim

my spirit the black horror of it has

stolen my memory of how to sing

i cling with my last feather to this

small piece of poetry fighting to set me free